I was sitting in front of my computer planning to do some documentation which is long due. After a few lines of typing, my thoughts drifted away... I stared blankly into the screen for almost an hour wondering away. So much have changed in my life for the past few months.....
Things that I have never anticipated to happen in my life, all came tumbling down on me. There were so much going on at once that I can hardly hold myself together. I am getting lost trying to fight this up hill battle. I keep telling myself that life is all about change and changes are for the better... That motto used to work like a charm but it is also losing its magic lately.
Keeping myself busy doesn't really help anymore. The mind is having a mind of its own (I know it is obvious) and keeps shutting down my focus and stray away back to the good-o-days. I know how he misses them but I need him to be strong... Please don't collapse on me now!
Sometimes tears rolled down my cheeks for no apparent reason when I am alone. I have no words for it no matter how hard I tried to compose and explain them... its just a burst of emotion undescribable with words that I know. I am begining to avoid being alone which I used to love.
I must control this day dreaming... there is no point looking back. The future can be tough but it is full of surprises. I am sure there will be some pleasant ones waiting for me to discover them...
16 comments:
I know exactly how you feel, my dear. It happened to me before and sometimes it is still with me. but i tell myself, life will go on no matter what. might as well face it with a smile... enjoy each and everyday that you have. do watever that will make you happy...cheers
darling, time to come out the cave. i've been thru a bit of your situation, might not be the same thing happens exactly, but, same reaction somehow.
keeping yourself busy is to 'flight', means hide away lah.
time to come out from the cave like me, face it, F*** the freaking emotion and move on cheerfully!
eh i pass u some tips (if there is any) after this critical stress incident management ya :)
at the moment keep hammering the keyboard. hahaha...
FaiTh, things I do that will make me happy is to taunt you. hahaha...
Casie, consciously I am facing it but sub-consciously it will sneak-up and bites me... Lets wait for your stress management tips and see.
Taunt me? as long as it will make u feel better... i dont mind. that's what friends are for. why do you think i always act like a clown huh? so that people around me will be happier ma... :)
fatt wan lor you two, faith this is what we call 一个愿打，一个愿挨。
haha.. wolf, ya man let see how we can deal with our sub concious...
wolf ah... remember the picture of teh tarik? think about it.
what teh tarik? tell me... tell me... think about what???
Err.... Fai-Th, I was joking about the taunting. Please don't take it seriously. I don't make fun of friends and feel happy about it. I use it as an ice-breaker only.
Jeff bro, I remember that picture. Keeping the balance right?
oh no... faith is going to be jobless... kesian...
ya... gotta resign from being a clown dy... coz lonewolf dont appreciate it. huhuuhuu
faith, teh tarik is not origin from malaysia after wolf enlighten me. This is the tarot card, temperance.
yes wolf, keeping balance. you have fate with this card when you say teh tarik. :)
furthermore looking into your inner soul and make your action slow. face it but don't fear it. the more you face, the more you can balance it.
see carefully the card, there is a small path at back to lead you to sun rise place. I believe you will sure find it.
Wah, when is my turn for the tarot??
your tarot will sure come. you just need to trigger some word.. like wolf, he trigger the teh tarik. lol
Jeff... read for me!!! read for me!!! see when someone is willing to take me away from my mama n papa!!!
这么久了，我才看完你的blog。 不要这么“灰”，很多美好的东西在你面前，是看你要怎样去拥有它。每样东西都要自己去争取，不是坐着一旁等“榴莲掉”。过去就让它过去吧，做人要勇望直前。
没想到这么久的post还会有读客。。。谢谢你的关心已支持。
你的profile picture不也是灰灰的吗？哈哈哈。。。讲笑的啦。
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